Rage Online

Us 1 (Potter) Them 2 (Gestede x 2)

Att : 6789 with 789 of Them

UE : An exhausted sheep is released by TVP from the luggage compartment of the away team bus on arrival at the Stadium. A bevy of laughing Swans from the Thames fly over the North Stand at just the moment when Cardiff lose.

The score at ninety minutes does not count in this one in the event of extra time being played. See Hat rule 24b(ix).

Oxford 1 (Beano) Cardiff 0
Att 7688 (766)

Oxen Herders 0 - 3 Sheep Shaggers

(Parkin, Hudson, Gestede)
7882, of whom 926 are tidy, see.

UE: rioters take to the pitch during the second half, looting Robert Earnshaw and - more surprisingly - Harry Worley. Both are discreetly sold on at Brick Lane market to 'Arry Redknapp (who loves a bargain).

Oxen 0 Sheep 2

Earnshaw (2)

7,298 of which 712 from the far side of the Severn.

UE: The team wear the new away kit at home.

0-2

Earnshaw, Parkin

7561

699

UE: Not a hint of trouble before, during or after the game.

Yellow Oxen 1 (Smalley) Bluebirds 0

7750

750

UE: Batt plays right midfield with Whing at right back.

Yellows 2 (Smalley, Potter) Blues 1 (Dubes og)

5432

543

UE: Whing's position is Whing Back

Gavin 2-1 Stacey

Smalley, Leven. Parkin.

6800 with 700 prop forwards with necks thicker than my thighs.

UE so impressed with United's impressive performance is watching Welsh national manager Gary Speed that he immediately contrives distant Welsh heritage for the whole Oxford first XI and rushes citizenship through in time for them to all play vs Australia on Wednesday. Meanwhile top Cardiff fan chantreuse Charlotte Church makes the local front page for her riotous drunken behaviour in leading the entire away support in an operatic version of &quotYou're gonna get your fecking heads kicked in&quot whilst hanging one-armed off the gantry.

&quotBigCrompy&quot wrote:UE so impressed with United's impressive performance is watching Welsh national manager Gary Speed that he immediately contrives distant Welsh heritage for the whole Oxford first XI and rushes citizenship through in time for them to all play vs Australia on Wednesday.

You do know that our game is on Wednesday as well?

&quotA-Ro&quot wrote:

&quotBigCrompy&quot wrote:UE so impressed with United's impressive performance is watching Welsh national manager Gary Speed that he immediately contrives distant Welsh heritage for the whole Oxford first XI and rushes citizenship through in time for them to all play vs Australia on Wednesday.

You do know that our game is on Wednesday as well?

Ach, must have missed that one, so....thanks! You've actually saved me from staying up til 5am Melbourne time tonight to listen to it, might have been quite disappointed in that event.

Does kinda make my unexpected event that bit more unexpected if it happens though so I shall be expecting extra points...

Oxford 0 Cardiff 1 (Gestede). Attendance 6,750. Away crowd 850.

Us 1 them 2

Beano. Gestede, Whittingham

Att: 6250 with 625 from the wrong side of the border

Ox 0 Sheep 2
5,432 666
Conway, Whittingham

Fires from the surrounding estates make floodlights unneccessary. All the Oxford substitutes wear fetching Karen Millen one shoulder draped dresses. Cardiff supporters loot inferior Oxford web forums and return to the Principality with collections of &quotConstable to Luton&quot and &quotWright to a championship club&quot rumours.

Toffs 2 - 1 Taffs

Guy Smalley Gestede

6789 678

Not one red dragon is on show within the ground.

Lose 1-2
Gestede, Parkin, Smalley (assuming he has a shot)
6666
666