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New FAT Hat

Posted: Mon Jan 12, 2009 10:50 pm
by Radley Rambler
Us 1 Them 0

Hutchinson (who else!)

Att: 1800 with 25 away.

UE: Mick Brown brings out a fax machine into the centre circle before kick-off to register the on-loan defenders so that he has 1800 witnesses. He then asks everyone present to sign a witness decleration form.

Posted: Tue Jan 13, 2009 10:15 am
by A-Ro
3 - 0 Constable Sappleton Yemi 1900 100

UE: Mick Brown brings out a fax machine into the centre circle before kick-off to register the on-loan defenders so that he has 1800 witnesses. He then asks everyone present to sign a witness declaration form.

Then forgets to hit the send button.

Posted: Tue Jan 13, 2009 10:24 am
by GodalmingYellow
Ox 2 - Yorx 0

Sappleton, Constable

2,678 of which 54 from York

UE: Mick Brown brings out a fax machine into the centre circle before kick-off to register the on-loan defenders so that he has 1800 witnesses. He then asks everyone present to sign a witness declaration form.

He then sends the fax but has put the registration in upside down so everything transmitted is blank.

Posted: Tue Jan 13, 2009 11:46 am
by Yellow River
United 1 York 1

Yemi, Farrell

2350 (75)

UE:- Before kick-off the players form a ring by holding hands, Mick Brown goes into the middle of the ring and starts skipping around to the song &quotThere's a brown boy in the ring&quot. The OUFC Secretary is then asked by Eddie Hutcninson &quotShow me your motion.&quot At this point MB performs his favorite dance. which happens to be a rather slendid impression of John Travolta and 'Stayin' alive' The players all join in with the 'ah, ha, ha, ha' except Billy Turley who scowls at eveyone.

Posted: Tue Jan 13, 2009 12:59 pm
by Parklife12
Ox 2 - 0 York
Feed the 'Sapp' and he will score, and super James Constable.
Att 2211, 51

Posted: Tue Jan 13, 2009 1:05 pm
by Snake
Us 0 Them 0

Att: 1800 with 18 of Them.

UE: The big red fire engine that normally circles the ground at around 15 minutes after kick off does not make an appearance.

Posted: Tue Jan 13, 2009 1:35 pm
by Hog
Win 2-1
Sappleton, Constable, Brodie
2555
123
UE: York come out first for the second half and line up facing the end they already attacked in the first half,

Posted: Tue Jan 13, 2009 1:45 pm
by Geoff
Oxford 2 (Constable, Sappleton) York 0. Attendance 1,400. Away crowd 80.

Unexpected event: Oxford are disqualified for fielding 12 players, although the ref doesn't notice until after the game.

Posted: Tue Jan 13, 2009 2:18 pm
by Matt D
i hope you won't mind me submitting an UE:

UE: it transpires before the game that following their relegation to the conference, oxford's registration with the league was filled out in blue ballpoint, not black, and the club have never been properly registered as members of the league. the conference are docked a step in the footballing pyramid for each season they have fielded an inelligible club, and find themselves just ahead of the hellenic premier.

Posted: Tue Jan 13, 2009 2:47 pm
by Ancient Colin
0-0 (is this possible)
no one
1564, 65

The game is delayed for eleven hours and fifteen minutes as both club secretaries ring the conference offices to check on player eligibility the phone eventually being answered by the cleaner ... Crawley Town's membership of the NYSE is suspended by the SEC.

Posted: Tue Jan 13, 2009 2:54 pm
by Zeke
Us 1 Them 0 Sappleton 1587 89

Posted: Tue Jan 13, 2009 3:10 pm
by Mooro
Ox 2 York 1 (Sapp, Day // CRitchell)
4678
112

UE - Wilder turns Wenger and plays the entire youth team for the game with the senior squad sent to Didcot the following evening.
UE2 - We win a cup tie at the first time of asking.

Posted: Tue Jan 13, 2009 5:00 pm
by theox
Oxford 2-1 York
Sappleton, Constable - Brodie
1,634 (134)

UE - In an attempt to break as many rules as possible, Oxford field 12, non-registered, non-transferred-from-the-Welsh FA, under-age, illegal immigrants. The FA do not notice until 2 minutes before kick-off on Final day.

Posted: Tue Jan 13, 2009 6:09 pm
by Frank
We win 2-0. Sappleton and Constable. 2000 &amp 100

April: Win 1-0. Constable. 2001 &amp 99

Shane: 1-0. Sappleton. 2012 &amp 102

Posted: Tue Jan 13, 2009 6:23 pm
by Mally
2-Nil to us

Constable, Haldane

1750
35

UE - Mick Brown is seen walking through the stadium in a hair shirt whilst whipping himself and chanting over and over &quotI am a bad person and I deserve to be punished&quot