Salisbury Hat

Snake · Post by **Snake** » Tue Dec 23, 2008 5:43 pm

I’m off abroad soon on Crimbo duty so I’ll have to start this Hat early..

Them 0 Us 1 (Constable)

Att: 2678 with 999 of Us

UE: Wilder is sent to the stands by the ref for swearing at his own players.

OUFC4eva · Post by **OUFC4eva** » Tue Dec 23, 2008 8:44 pm

Salisbury City 0-3 Oxford United

Constable (2) Murray

ATT: 1,765 (695)

UE: This guy appears in the dug out.

http://thecomicalhat.files.wordpress.co ... wilder.jpg

Yellow River · Post by **Yellow River** » Wed Dec 24, 2008 9:21 am

Salisbury 1 Griffin, Oxford 2 Constable, Haldane.

2200 (800)

UE With the mighty yellows 1-0 down at the break, Wilder's half time team talk is an impressive affair with the new gaffer bellowing out these fine lyrics....&quotI never knew there where honky-tonk angels, Oh, I might have know you never make a wife, You gave up the only one that ever loved you, And went back to that wild side of life&quot... an arguement and fight then breaks out between Billy Turley and Matt Day over who recorded the original version. However it seems to do the trick as Oxford come from behind to win.

theox · Post by **theox** » Wed Dec 24, 2008 10:09 am

Salisbury 1-2 Oxford
Robinson - Haldane, Constable
1,765 (287)

UE - No one turns up in fancy dress.

Geoff · Post by **Geoff** » Wed Dec 24, 2008 11:21 am

Salisbury 0 Oxford 1 (Guy). Attendance 2,551. Away crowd 1,000.

Unexpected event: There are no shouts of 'Wilder out!'

A-Ro · Post by **A-Ro** » Wed Dec 24, 2008 11:44 am

1 - 1 Guy Wilmot og 2000 600

Mooro · Post by **Mooro** » Wed Dec 24, 2008 1:20 pm

1 Robinson 3 Guy constable Yemi

Att 2000

UE - EAch player takes to the field with a whippet as mascot
UE2 - Wilder takes the players for a period of contemplation in the Cathedral befoe the game

Radley Rambler · Post by **Radley Rambler** » Wed Dec 24, 2008 4:49 pm

Them 1 Us 1

Robinson, Constable

Att: 2222 with 888 yellows

Sideshow Rob · Post by **Sideshow Rob** » Wed Dec 24, 2008 6:27 pm

Old Sarem 0 Old Scare Um 2 (Constable, Guy)
2,210 (733)

Merry, Lenigan, Smith and Thomas serve a writ on Mr. S. Claus when they discover the keys to the Kassam Stadium cannot to be found in their Christmas stockings.

Ancient Colin · Post by **Ancient Colin** » Wed Dec 24, 2008 7:53 pm

Rotten Borough 1 Rotten Footballers 1
Griffin, Guy
2,222, who knows, we'll be all over the place and unaccountable, bit like the midfield, achhh, say 1100.

Mr Lenegan transfers his allegiance to Salisbury and is elected MP for the constituency surrounding the stadium. He expects his sons to become bishops, but a newcomer usurps them and appoints as his chaplain a Mr Slope, who gives his name to many football fields around the country. Matt Day has enjoyed his Christmas dinner. After his first run down the wing, seismic shock causes liquifaction of the surrounding fields, causing the disappearance of several identikit Persimmon housing estates. Voting patterns are unaffected and the only sound remaining is soft ripple from the riverlets of tears from the combined sorrows of the rival supporters.

Hog · Post by **Hog** » Wed Dec 24, 2008 8:33 pm

Wilts 1 Wilted 2
Griffin, Constable, Yemi
2430
999 (but I'm sure someone said the away capacity is 600 so that's what will be declared)

UE: Robinson has to leave the pitch to arrest fighting fans when Oxford go one down in the first half and is subbed at halftime as he has to leave to go to work, and Guy gets a hattrick.

boris · Post by **boris** » Wed Dec 24, 2008 10:23 pm

Sarum 1 Scarum 1
Tubbs (does he still play for them? I've no idea) Haldane
1678 (678)

UE: On the first day of christmas my true-love gives to me a partridge in a pear tree.
UE2: On the second day of christmas my true-love gives to me two turtle doves and a partridge in a pear tree
UE3: etc ad nauseum...

oxfordjames · Post by **oxfordjames** » Thu Dec 25, 2008 10:47 pm

Wiltshire 1 Oxfordshire 2
Tubbs, Constable, Trainer
2,493 (1145)

UE: It turns out that 80's wierdo Matthew Wilder is our manager but he doesn't break our stride.

Zeke · Post by **Zeke** » Fri Dec 26, 2008 2:21 am

Them 0 Us 2 Guy Constable 1896 789

Pe├▒a Oxford United · Fri Dec 26, 2008 11:04 am

Salisbury Plain 1 (o.g.

The Plain 0

1111 444

A monk from an Oxford seminary is seen in the Salisbury pubs, trying feverishly to persuade a local girl and Salisbury supporter that she should convert to Oxford United instead. Belatedly, though, he realises that his motives are not really anything to do with football.