North Hertfordshire Hat

Pe├▒a Oxford United · Wed Dec 17, 2008 4:58 pm

My old home town 1 (o.g) My old home town 1 (o.g.

4444 666

The PA announces the team line-ups as normal...but then remarks that the club have fallen so far, it must be some kind of curse. Kelvin takes the microphone and promises that, as chairman, he will save the club. But his brother-in-law, returned from holiday in Greece, speaks to the crowd and tells them that the reason for the curse is that somewhere in the ground is the person responsible for the removal of a previous chairman: and until they are removed, the club will remain under that curse. Disturbed, Kelvin promises to find them and to have them thrown out.

scooter · Post by **scooter** » Wed Dec 17, 2008 6:17 pm

Old City 2 New Town 0
Guy, Constable.
4680
178

UE The three OXManager finalists are given 15 minutes each in the first half to manage the team while Jim and the other judges look on from the SSU.

Phil Gilchrist is first but is dragged from the dugout by his wife after five minutes screaming that he'd promised never to return to the club again unless she was sitting beside him at all times and monitoring his every move.

Denis Smith is next and during his slot Guy scores and on 29 minutes he subs Guy, Constable and Billy, putting Yemi in goal, Hutch and Wilmot up front and moves Haldane and LSD to centre half, believing this should screw the next finalists chances of achieving anything.

Steve Evans is next and despite the macchiavellian tactics of D Smith Oxford are given a penalty when Trainer trips over his own flat feet on the half way line which Day scores and Stevenage have 4 goals mysteriously disallowed, equally mysteriously whilst Evans is being introduced to the fans as the new manager after the game the referee is seen driving away from the ground in a brand new Ferrari.

Bista yellow · Post by **Bista yellow** » Wed Dec 17, 2008 7:19 pm

Lewis Haldane's Team 2 - 0 Lewis Hamilton's Town

Attendence 4321 - 234(Steve's)

U.E
Paul Ince and Roy Keane unveiled as new management team, who then take oxford to the promised land of league football,
Years of Gypsy curses and footballing pain extinguised instantly!

boris · Post by **boris** » Wed Dec 17, 2008 7:51 pm

Feast 1 Stevenage 0
Yemi
4444 (222)

UE: KT announces the new manager to be Dwight Pettigrew, formerly manager of Asda in Worthing. He will be paying the club £50 a week and a box of cereal for the privilege.

Snake · Post by **Snake** » Wed Dec 17, 2008 9:39 pm

Us 1 (LSD) Them 1 (Morison)

Att: 4202 with 202 of Them

UE: A yellow smoke bomb goes off by accident in the front pocket of a fourteen year old hard lad in the top corner of the North Stand, resulting in bits of his penis being strewn around the neighbouring seats.

A-Ro · Post by **A-Ro** » Thu Dec 18, 2008 8:26 am

3 - 0 Guy Constable LSD 3800 123

Continuing a theme.

UE. Whilst Guy celebrates an 18 minutes hatrick he is clearly heard to be humming the tune of Puff The Magic Dragon

Mally · Post by **Mally** » Thu Dec 18, 2008 9:56 am

Us 2 Them 1
Guy, Constable, Morison
4403, 159

UE - A new manager is unveiled on the morning of the match and takes his seat in the directors box alongside Ian Lenagan. It soon becomes apparent to Ian that Kelvin, Nick and Jim have screwed up big time with the appointment. Lenagan asks to be excused half way through the first half and slowly walks downstairs and out through the tunnel. He walks on to the pitch, picks up the ball and says &quotSod this for a game of football! Get your own ball. I'm off home&quot.

boris · Post by **boris** » Thu Dec 18, 2008 12:27 pm

&quotSnake&quot wrote: UE: A yellow smoke bomb goes off by accident in the front pocket of a fourteen year old hard lad in the top corner of the North Stand, resulting in bits of his penis being strewn around the neighbouring seats.

Is that a prediction, or wishful thinking?

Radley Rambler · Post by **Radley Rambler** » Fri Dec 19, 2008 12:03 am

Us 1 Them 0

Guy (now that he is dynamic)

Att: 4500 with 250 Boroites

Yellow River · Post by **Yellow River** » Fri Dec 19, 2008 8:38 am

United 2 'Boro 1

Constable , Day, Morison.

4650 ( 250)

UE Matt Day scores the winning goal in the 95th minute, whilst running towards the corner flag to celebrate Day takes of his yellow jersey and swings it above his head thus revealing a white t-shirt underneath which bears the immortal words...Bagpuss, dear Bagpuss, Old Fat Furry Catpuss, Wake up and look at this thing that I bring, Wake up, be bright, be golden and light, Bagpuss, oh hear what I sing. Meanwhile in the Directors's Box Nick Merry turns to Kelvin Thomas and says 'I didn't know Matty was a Magic Roundabout fan'

Mooro · Post by **Mooro** » Fri Dec 19, 2008 2:17 pm

1-1 for me also, Guy, Anderson
3876
UE - John Ward takes to the pitch at half time to announce he is taking the Crewe job. PRB refuses to let him leave without joining in the Karaoke competition...

Zeke · Post by **Zeke** » Fri Dec 19, 2008 2:43 pm

Us 1 Them 1 Guy Boylan 4678 315

theox · Post by **theox** » Fri Dec 19, 2008 5:19 pm

Oxford 2-1 Stevenage
Guy, Constable - Boylan
3,954 (197)

UE - its not cold.

oxfordjames · Post by **oxfordjames** » Fri Dec 19, 2008 5:49 pm

St. Ox 1 St. Steven 2
Constable, Boylan, Morrison
4,190 (200)
UE: The new manager is announced.

Hog · Post by **Hog** » Fri Dec 19, 2008 6:21 pm

Jack 2 Herts 1
Guy, Constable, Morison
4321
200
UE: Anaclet scores 3, Day hits the woodwork twice and a player is booked twice but not sent off.

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