Rage Online

Grays 2 Yellows 1 (Efonowhatever, Bailey // Constable)
Att 2102 awat 312

UE - Jon Ashton is soi impressed with the spirit in the U's camp that he switches allegiances at half-time and joins the United back line for the second half. Unfortunately, it is then his error which allows Grays to sneak in the winner.

UE2 - I actually complete my registration for Swissblokes new game that everyone else started a fortnight ago!

Grays 1 (o.g. Dazed 0

888 222

When Patterson calls for a substitute, at first none appears. However, at the second time of asking, a boat is spotted sailing down the Thames, piloted by a Swansea fan. It stops by the shore and an unknown footballer alights, dismissing the Swansea fan before he is borne to the ground, where he asks Patterson if he may play. Patterson kneels in front of him and agrees. The player in turn agrees to play for nothing, but asks just one thing - Patterson may never ask him who is is, or what other clubs he has played for.

Grays 2-1 Oxford
McCollin, Thurgood - Haldane
1,836 (345)

UE - Someone who is watching from those weird flats catches a stray Quinn clearance on their chest and proceed to provide the best moment of the game by performing some outrageous keepy-uppys.

Grays 1 Oxford 2

1,235 (455 away)

UE: Someone gives a shit.

Them 1 Us 1

Ashton, Constable

Att: 1200 with 450 away

Them 0 Us 0 1345 429

Them 1 (Ashton) Us 2 (Guy, Constable)

Att: 999 with 345 of Us.

UE: The record of our lowest ever known league crowd away from home is beaten (currently standing at 911).

Gray 2 Greyer 1, Welsh, McCollin (from the Scottish branch of Ancient Colins. perhaps), Trainer.

888, 333

Expected event: Roger from Reading is unable to speak coherently during the game.

UE. Patto resigns. and Eurystheus Thomas appoints Heracles in his stead. The hero protests at the impossibility of the task, compared to the dispatch or capture of lions, hydra, hinds and boars, but to no avail. There seems no way to remove the ordure and miasma of the Kassstadt from the plains of Oxford. But, cleverly merging and diverting the waters of the Thame and the Isis, Heracles washes away all the manure from the club. At the next match, United are fined and expelled since they are unable to field a team.

Grays 1 (Ashton) Oxford 1 (Constable). Attendance 800. Away crowd 250.

1 - 0 Jamie Slabber 1800 250

UE it rains

Am I getting the hang of this UE thing yet?

Essexinnit 1 – 0 Oxfordshoooarrrrr
Ashton

1,641
337

UE: Matt Day reveals that he is actually Mr Creosote and explodes having been offered one last “waffer thin mint

0-9
Guy 4 Const 3 Hal 2 Yem 1 (the ref can't count)
5,555 (4,444 away fans)

UE: There's an impromptu carnival in Grays, rendering it colourful.
UE2: The atmosphere at the game is electric as both sides serve up a feast of wonderful fast-flowing passing football
UE3: It doesn't rain

Grey 1 Yellow 2
Sloma, Guy, Yemi
1,622 (254)

Athletic 0 United 0

1299 (399)

UE, there are no unusual events, none at all, nothing that remotely resembles anything unusual, in fact it is the most boring match in the world........ever.

Grays 1 Oxford 1
Sloma Constable
1009
344