Rage Online

Win
2-1
Yemi, Trainer, Burgess
4444
222
UE: Burgess isn't verbally abused by the home end, not once, not even slightly. Burgess hits the woodwork twice. Burgess shows such passion for the shirt that he gets sent off. Burgess wears yellow boots as a piss-take. Burgess plays at left back*. Burgess, Burgess, Burgess!

* Okay, that last one is too stupid even for UE. Sorry!

Brogues 2 Boots 1

Yemi, Murray. Corcoran.

4703
168

UE After announcing Luke Foster as player of the season, Nick Merry springs the suprise that they have completed the purchase of the stadium from FK along with the rest of the Ozone excluding the existing hotel, the site for the new one and the Priory.

Even with this major financial commitment he is pleased to announce that they have managed to keep season ticket price rises to only 20% for next season.

The price agreed is being paid over three years and Nick is also delighted to announce that Mr Kassam has agreed to take a seat on the board advising the management on communication with the fans and offshore tax planning.

Cubic Zircons 3 - 3 Crystallised Carbon
Yemi x3 - Burgess x3
4223, 456
UE: Yemi scores a blistering first half hat-trick. At half time, news filters through of a snap investigation into the finances of Stevenage and Exeter, resulting in the re-opening of Oxford's slim chances of a playoff place. As cruel fate twists the knife, Burgess cancels out the first half score, his third and final goal coming in the 7th minute of injury time. Angry fans start a rhythical stamping of their feet. With the spirits awakened, an army of zombies erupts from the pitch and marches off to kill everyone in Slumdon. The gypsy curse is thus lifted, and under Darren Patterson, Oxford go on to gain outright promotion in four successive seasons, win the Premiership in the fifth, and the Champions League in the sixth. Patterson, Merry, Lenaghan and Smith are all knighted, and the new 200,000-seater stadium is hailed as a footballing Mecca, with international superstars queuing up to pull on the yellow and blue. After an unprecedented unbeaten run of 400 league, cup and European games, Patterson turns down the role of England job and instead becomes UN Secretary General, presiding over a transition to a truly peaceful and harmonious world.
UE2: The referee's shorts fall down.

Boy, have you got some time to wait to claim your UE point.

&quotA-Ro&quot wrote:Boy, have you got some time to wait to claim your UE point.

Indeed, referee's short elastic has undergone much strengthening in recent seasons.

Rubbish 2 - 1 Dustbins
Murray, Green Corcoran

4,463
181

UE: Jim Smith and Andy Burgess announce their undying love for each other over the PA and exchange a big sloppy kiss (with tongues) in the centre circle at half time.

Us 2 Them 0

Yemi, Trainer

Att: 4600 with 150 diamond geezers

Oxford 3 (Yemi McAlister Green) Rushden 0
4,822 (350 from Northants)

UE. Gordon Brown and Nick Merry announce a season ticket discount for all those adversely affected by the abolition of the 10p income tax rate

Oh err, it’s Gypsy Curse night again.

Us 0 Them 0

Att: 3999 with 199 of Them.

UE: Season Ticket prices are announced and there are price reductions in some areas. Wrexham win away at Hereford. Andrew Smith gets back to Trevor and tells him what’s really going on with the Stadium Deal.

Ox 3 R&ampD 1
Yemi, Green, McAllister &amp of course .... ANDY BURGESS.
4568
180
UE: Nick makes THE announcement - He &amp Mr Leneghan have just come out of talks with Firoz and it transpires that Mr K has brought the club back for a quid. Kassam comes on to the pitch at half time and tells us that he is going to take us on a journey, he believe Patto is the man and with the club and Stadium under the same umbrella company there will be no stopping us. Before the final whistle the Kassam out boys who have not been seen for months (or is it years) have returned to the stadium. We leave depressed.

Oxford United Football Club 5-0 Rushden Town &amp Irthlingborough Diamonds Football Club

Yemi 17,69
Green 71
Murray 77 pen
Rose 88

Att 4.750 Away 120

UE Rose Scores!!

UE2 Burgess does not!!

Oxford 1-2 Rushden
4,867 (345)
Yemi - Burgess, Corcoran

UE - we win on a Tuesday night.

Ox 3 (Trainer/McAllister/Yemi) R and D 1 (Woodhouse)

4,781 (208 from Northants)

UE: Baboo and myself watch game in total silence.

1-1
Green Challinor
4200 199

UE: minimalism is the new black.

Oxford 2 (Green, McAllister) Rushden 0. Attendance 4,200. Away crowd 130.

Us 2 Them 1 Green, Yemi Rankine 4458 210