Just to lighten the mood a little, please allow me to share with you a few lines from Sunday's "Sunday Star Times" - New Zealand's equivalent to the News of the World.
In between the rugby and cricket quotes of the week, comes this ("heard on the PA at Oxford versus Torquay soccer match"): "Could the owner of a Vauxhall Astra, registration number P914, please return to their vehicle immediately, as it is rolling unaccompanied".
Wasn't Billy Turley's car by any chance was it?