Page 2 of 2
Posted: Fri Nov 07, 2008 7:31 pm
by GodalmingYellow
Come on, we all know the score:
The Randolph 9 The Dorchester 1
Guy 3, Constable 3, Yemi 3, Day o.g.
Exactly 3,000 turn up for the game fulfilling the club's marketing perfectly.
Re:
Posted: Fri Nov 07, 2008 8:53 pm
by Snake
"Peña Oxford United" wrote:Christminster 5 (o.g. 5) Casterbridge 0
3333 222
Entering a dark changing room, the players are surprised to find seven doors in the wall. Deciding to open them to let in light, they find that each one reveals something different. The first leads to the physio's room, the second to the boot room. Behind the third are their bonuses for reaching the First Round, behind the fourth the pitch in immaculate condition. Behind the fifth is a view of the city of Oxford, but stained with blood: behind the sixth they can see the reservoir at Farmoor, but filled with tears. Burnell pleads with the others not to open the last door, but they do, to reveal players from each of Burnell's three previous clubs, dressed in their kit. Burnell praises his previous clubs and then his teammates: now they beg him to stop, but it is too late. They find themselves dressed in Northampton, Wycombe and Bristol City kit and are transported variously to Ashton Gate, Adams Park and Sixfields, travelling along magic beams exuding from the floodlights.
That’s hardly credible, is it? Just because you’re near the top of the Hat League doesn’t mean you shouldn’t take the UE bonus point seriously.
///
Us 3 (Guy, Constable, Yemi) Them 1 (Mudge)
Att: 3456 with 456 of Them
UE: An incredible string of bad referring decisions take place and we lose. It turns out that Nick Merry was tasked with bribing the official at FGR in order to get us out of the Setanta Shield and also make a small fortune for the club at the bookies, but he cocked up again and gave the inducement to the wrong ref. Putting “
Ian Lenagan || Oxford United
Posted: Fri Nov 07, 2008 9:50 pm
by Baboo
Us 0 Them1
Hutch og
3001
98
UE: The players are made to sit in the stands right up until just before kick off in order that they understand how it feels to be an Oxford United fan. This so depresses them that they lose the match.
Posted: Sat Nov 08, 2008 12:30 am
by boris
Ox 18 Dox 2
Lots of goalscorers 2 late consolatory penalties
12,345 (7, and a dog)
UE: Dorchester concede the game at half time to save themselves from further humiliation.
The scoreboard goes horribly wrong, with the wrong data, the wrong scoreline, lots of distracting flashing lights, and sparks flying everywhere. Upon investigation it is revealed to be a Rage Online plot to rig the game, which has to be replayed behind closed doors (but with a couple of open windows, for fresh air) at Dorchester, with the home side winning 9-1. Rage Online is closed down and all its forum users are implicated in the plot, known nationally as Hatgate.
Posted: Sat Nov 08, 2008 8:28 am
by OUFC4eva
United 3-2 Dorchester
Constable (3) Hill (2)
3,687 (450)
UE: Yemi has a penalty saved - twice.
Posted: Sat Nov 08, 2008 8:56 am
by Yellow River
United 1 Town 1
Hutch, Fogden.
Att 3030. (230)
UE Lewes Haldane wins the half-time Ox Factor competition despite the fact that half way through his rendition of John Otway & Wild Wily Barrett's 'Really Free' he forgets the words.
Posted: Sat Nov 08, 2008 9:27 am
by theox
Oxford 2-1 Dorchester
Haldane, Hutchinson - Hill
3,125 (301)
UE - Barack Obama attends the game as part of his pre-presidential duties.
Posted: Sat Nov 08, 2008 10:47 am
by Mally
Us 3 Them 0
Constable, Odubade, Trainer
3000
260
UE - Dorchester walk off the pitch in protest when the ref sends one of their players off.
Posted: Sat Nov 08, 2008 1:16 pm
by Sideshow Rob
Oxford 1 (Constable) Dorchester 0
2,850 (250)
UE The substitutes go on a circular tour of the car parks on an open topped bus until they are called to take to the pitch.
Posted: Sat Nov 08, 2008 1:36 pm
by Parklife12
Oxford 6-0
Guy2, Trainer 2, Constable, Yemi
3102, 204
UE: Guy actually looks like a half decent striker and puts in a bit of effort
Posted: Sat Nov 08, 2008 2:25 pm
by Roo
us 2 (Deering, Guy) Them 3 (o.g. Hill, Liburn)
Attn 3115 with 115 from there
U.E. Deering kisses/caresses his boot after scoring to thank us for buying them and asks for a pair of mouldies in the post match interview.
Posted: Sat Nov 08, 2008 3:25 pm
by Frank
Us win 4-0. Trainer, Yemi, Guy and Super Lewis Haldaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaane. 3210, 210.
April: Us win 3-1. Yemi, Guy, Trainer. 3000 & 300
Shane: 1-0. Trainer. 3001 & 299