Torquing hat

[boris]

2-2 (Guy 2, Green 2)
2222 (222)

UE: Matt Green gets a standing ovation from the travelling support, and is loudly cheered every time he gets the ball.
Ditto Chris Hargreaves.
Ditto Tim Sills.
Ditto Lee Mansell.
Ditto Shaun North.

[Geoff]

Beach Football 1 (Sills) Beached Whales 0. Attendance 2,150. Away crowd 250.

Unexpected event: Due to our impending eviction from the New Manor, Kelvin negotiates a ground sharing scheme with Torquay.

[scooter]

0 - 0
2568
236

UE At the request of the Oxford fans Helen Chamberlain reprises her Penthouse shoot and does get her tits out for the lads. Unfortunately refusing to be usurped by the Torquay celebrity fan, Timmy Mallet does the same.

[SmileyMan]

Riviera 2 - 1 Reverie
Wroe, Sills - Trainer
2295 (464)
UE: The Torquay team arrive for the warm up on wheeled surfboards. Not to be outdone, the Oxford players turn up riding oxen. The combined rodeo/surfing mayhem becomes an instant hit, and Setanta pick up the rights for three years.

[Snake]

Them 2 (Green, Sills) Us 1 (Yemi)

Att: 2222 with 222 of Us

UE: Signal from Setanta dies at half time.

[YellowHoods]

Turkeys 2 Bustards 1

Some uncertainty over goal scorers, as no-one seems to care.

Crowd blustery with 250 away (or 900 away according to all those on TiU next morning who claim to have been there).

EDIT - on the back of rumours that Turkeys have been given byes and are &quotquite likely&quot to draw Man U in FAC3, 12,163 turn up, twice the capacity, to get their vouchers.

[Thank you Snake - do I win?]

[Baboo]

Young Turks 3 Old Burkes 0
Sills 3
2350
250
UE: Curran?

[Hog]

Turkey 2 Stuffed 1
Sills 2 Yemi
2234
223
UE: Kelvin watches the game from the terrace wearing a replica shirt with GREEN on the back which he bought half price at the club shop, Turley goes up front for a late corner and an Oxford player scores a hat-trick and is the snt off for celebrating.

[Yellow River]

Torquay 0 Oxford 1 (Yemi)

Att:- 2285 (285)

UE :- Whilst steaming through a static Torquay defence in the 6th minute of added on time like an Ohio Express Train , supersub Mr Yemi snatches a last gasp winner and is clearly heard to be singing ' I'm Yemi, Yemi, Yemi. I got pies in my tummy, And I feel like eatin' you: Icecream, you're such a sweet thing, Good enough to eat thin' And that's just a-what I'm gonna do. Ooh love, to eat ya, Ooh love, to lick ya, Ooh love, I love it so.
Ooh love, you're sweeter, Sweeter than sugar. Ooh love, I wont let you go'

[Snake]

Turkeys 2 Bustards 1

Some uncertainty over goal scorers, as no-one seems to care.

Crowd blustery with 250 away (or 900 away according to all those on TiU next morning who claim to have been there).

You should have a word with Frank about the rules of the Hat, because you can score points just by getting the home crowd right by 10%.

Apparently.

[Radley Rambler]

Turkey 2 Quirky 1

Green, Sills, Guy

Att: 2100 with 250 mentalists

[A-Ro]

1 - 0 Sills 2345 345

[Shoobedoo]

Turkeys 4 – 0 Chickens
Mansell, Hargreaves, Sills, Green

2,862
466

UE: Kelvin is named as sub, comes on in the second half and scores a screamer that’s disallowed for offside (or has that already happened?).

[theox]

Torquay 4-1 Oxford
Mansell, Hargreaves, Sills, Green - Haldane
2,786 (297)

UE - We win away.

[GodalmingYellow]

Turkey 2 Chicken 1

Hargreaves, Mansell, Guy

3,242 with 186 from Ox

UE: Kelvin Thomas is on the bench.