Sincerely the Crappiest Poetry you will ever read ...

GARRY

September 1, 1994

So Ooh Aah Garry Smart is no morefrom the London Road we used to callyour hair was short, wavy and curlybut your body was never ever burly.Some may say ‘Thank God he’s gone’but for your passing and effort I do longYou never reached those dizzy heightsof a ball in the net that was in your […]

MICKEY’S GOATEE

September 1, 1994

As I stood and watched it growUnder Mad Dog’s chin it did growIt grew with such wild intenseSurely Mad Dog’s wife could make him see senseBut as he runs with it hanging thereHe really is your worst nightmare.Why should I shave you hear him cry –Try looking in a mirror we all sigh.And as he […]

FAREWELL ‘SAINT JAMES’

February 1, 1994

So goodbye then Jimmyhere’s wishing you wellWith your rise up the ladderin your move to the Dell.It’s a kick in the gutsso close after LeedsYet I know it’s a joband you have your needs.When class leaves this clubit always causes us painFor now you’re ‘Ex-Oxford’and on your shirt is your name.But all that we ask […]

TREV’S STORY

February 1, 1994

Trevor Aylott had big shouldersTrevor Aylott had thin legsTrevor Aylott had black hair, and aBig white headband ’round his headTrevor Aylott wore the 9 shirtTrevor Aylott cured the sickTrevor Aylott couldn’t headerTrevor Aylott couldn’t kickBut Trevor was a terrace god‘Ooo Trevor Aylott’ we saidTrevor Aylott had black hair, and aBig white headband ’round his headCHORUSOooooo, […]

REECEY

February 1, 1993

When I behold his     wondrous graceAnd his dexterousness     around the placeTis difficult to image     any otherKeeper at Oxford, first     choice or coverThat could perform with     such agilityInstinct, bravery and all     round ability.That’s the new boy, our     man at the backLast line of defence against     their attackTime and again he saved     at DerbyMan of the Match, then Paul     Reece would beBut still I fear, around     the cornerThat […]

IT’S A KEE POINT

October 1, 1992

So once again people, the man ‘Toast’ is in proseTo share with you yellows the stuff that he knowsThis time it is keepers, and I’ll guaranteeWe’ve all got our feelings on Mr Paul KeeHe’s got a bad habit of making mistakesSometimes he’s not got the courage it takesto jump under pressure, catch it clean and […]

THE DARLING BOYS OF MAY

September 1, 1992

It was a strange old morningYet I had slept all nightAnd although I was nervousI thought ‘It will be alright!’For those of you out thereWho have forgotten the dayThe morning in questionWas the Second of May.Boarding the coachesIn Castle StreetWas quite an adventure(What one might call a feat)There were three round the cornerAnd four on […]

foster

April 1, 1992

Captain Fost-er almost losthis place to Cerithe verytalented Kiwi.But manager Hortonwhose opinion was sought onnothing muchhad lost touchso Fosterstayed on the rosterandfor a hundred grandsaid ‘ta very much!’

horton

April 1, 1992

Hortonwas exhortin’the playersto say their prayers.For as the seasonlost its reasononly that Godbodcould stopthe dropas the Mighty U’scontinued to lose.Martin B

NO THANKS TO KEVIN MAXWELL

April 1, 1992

No thanks at all to Kevin MaxwellThere are times when our team attacks wellThere’s diminutive John DurninOn a 10p piece he’s turnin’And there’s ‘twinkle’ Trevor AylottSkill for which we didn’t pay lots!Simmo’s gone but Chrissy AllenKeeps the wing alive with talent.He’s so quick that Joey Beauchamp –Most defenders never reach him,And the skills of Jim […]