Sincerely the Crappiest Poetry you will ever read ...

horton

April 1, 1992

Hortonwas exhortin’the playersto say their prayers.For as the seasonlost its reasononly that Godbodcould stopthe dropas the Mighty U’scontinued to lose.Martin B

NO THANKS TO KEVIN MAXWELL

April 1, 1992

No thanks at all to Kevin MaxwellThere are times when our team attacks wellThere’s diminutive John DurninOn a 10p piece he’s turnin’And there’s ‘twinkle’ Trevor AylottSkill for which we didn’t pay lots!Simmo’s gone but Chrissy AllenKeeps the wing alive with talent.He’s so quick that Joey Beauchamp –Most defenders never reach him,And the skills of Jim […]

My oh my

March 1, 1992

MY OH MY Having viewed my one essential Xmas purchase, the ’86 Milk CupFinal video, a mere 20-25 times, I feel obliged to make a coupleof pertinent observations:(i) Bet most of you had forgotten about Oxford’s pathetic attempt to purloin Slade’s grating ‘My Oh My’ as the Official Cup Final Song. Remember the even more […]

Sunday Morning

January 1, 1992

Sunday Morning Nightmare Daylight seeps into a grey and colourless world, recollections of the night before sadly begin to fall into place. With a sense of horror you notice the time and realise that it’s only twenty minutes to kick off. This is the beginning of another Sunday morning nightmare. So what does Sunday morning […]

Low-income supporters

November 1, 1991

FOOTBALL: The need for recognition of the problems facing low-income supporters.Over the past few years there has been a noticeable improvement in certain attitudes on the part of many football supporters. This has been reflected in the fanzines (well, most of them) which have mushroomed in this time and, of course, in organisations such as […]

Lost for words

December 1, 1990

Lost For WordsJesus. ‘The New Manor’. What a boring, predictable, totally uninteresting name for a new stadium. And what a useless way to decide it too, allowing only those people to ‘vote’ who were prepared to write in to Maxwell expressing their support. Presumably the club would argue that these people were the ‘real’ fans, […]

12 Years in an Open-Neck Terrace

April 1, 1990

12 Years in an Open-Neck TerraceWhen I first embarked upon the gruelling and only occasionally rewarding pursuit of watching Oxford United, some 22 yeas ago, the Manor Ground was a very different place to the austere, metal-ridden pen we now know and grudgingly put up with. And yet it seems like?The occasion was our penultimate […]

10 Ways To Take United To The Top

February 1, 1990

10 Ways To Take United To The Top Merge with Aston Villa to form a Midlands Superteam Get ourselves some retractable goalposts so we can lower the crossbar (copyright Portsmouth F.C. 1989) Go bankrupt so we can enter and win the Federated Homes League Turn the Manor into a recording complex for Stock, Aitken and […]

How good a United fan are you ?

February 1, 1990

HOW GOOD A UNITED FAN ARE YOU!??Study the questions below carefully then mark down whether you think A, B or C fits you best. Scores below.1) Kevin Maxwell drives past you very slowly as you are leaving the ground after a dreadful home defeat. Do youA. Raise your hat politely and wipe a piece of […]

getting nowhere fast

October 1, 1989

Getting Nowhere FastFormerly: I WAS A TEENAGE ARMCHAIR HONVED FANDuring a brief sojourn to Budapest I was hoping to report back to Raging Bull on an exciting top Hungarian 1st Division match. However it seems that when in Rome do as you would have at home, as everything stopped for the FA Cup Final. But […]