Sincerely the Crappiest Poetry you will ever read ...


February 1, 1994

So goodbye then Jimmyhere’s wishing you wellWith your rise up the ladderin your move to the Dell.It’s a kick in the gutsso close after LeedsYet I know it’s a joband you have your needs.When class leaves this clubit always causes us painFor now you’re ‘Ex-Oxford’and on your shirt is your name.But all that we ask  more ]


February 1, 1994

Trevor Aylott had big shouldersTrevor Aylott had thin legsTrevor Aylott had black hair, and aBig white headband ’round his headTrevor Aylott wore the 9 shirtTrevor Aylott cured the sickTrevor Aylott couldn’t headerTrevor Aylott couldn’t kickBut Trevor was a terrace god‘Ooo Trevor Aylott’ we saidTrevor Aylott had black hair, and aBig white headband ’round his headCHORUSOooooo,  more ]

Open Ground

December 1, 1993

Open GroundThere’s something that annoys me about people’s obsession with their house price. Never mind the health of your community, never mind facilities, never mind if anybody else has anything to do. Just don’t build anything near my house, in case it makes a difference when I want to move away. Forget our football ground,  more ]

Something Nasty on the Bottom of your Shoe

February 1, 1993

Something Nasty on the Bottom of your Shoe Many fans will remember that in the late 1970s, a particularly slimy and unpleasant form of political life tried to attach themselves to English football. While their leaders dreamed of being some sort of British Hitler, their boneheads were sent to matches to throw bananas and chant  more ]


February 1, 1993

When I behold his     wondrous graceAnd his dexterousness     around the placeTis difficult to image     any otherKeeper at Oxford, first     choice or coverThat could perform with     such agilityInstinct, bravery and all     round ability.That’s the new boy, our     man at the backLast line of defence against     their attackTime and again he saved     at DerbyMan of the Match, then Paul     Reece would beBut still I fear, around     the cornerThat  more ]


October 1, 1992

So once again people, the man ‘Toast’ is in proseTo share with you yellows the stuff that he knowsThis time it is keepers, and I’ll guaranteeWe’ve all got our feelings on Mr Paul KeeHe’s got a bad habit of making mistakesSometimes he’s not got the courage it takesto jump under pressure, catch it clean and  more ]


September 1, 1992

It was a strange old morningYet I had slept all nightAnd although I was nervousI thought ‘It will be alright!’For those of you out thereWho have forgotten the dayThe morning in questionWas the Second of May.Boarding the coachesIn Castle StreetWas quite an adventure(What one might call a feat)There were three round the cornerAnd four on  more ]

In spite of …

September 1, 1992

‘In Spite of’ or ‘Because of’– so what (who) is a good manager?Wealthy Blackburn made it, and poor old Charlton blew it? So did the taciturn Dalglish work the wonder, and were Charlton’s dual managers to blame? Keegan graciously decides to stay at Newcastle because he can have most of the money he wants for  more ]


April 1, 1992

Hortonwas exhortin’the playersto say their prayers.For as the seasonlost its reasononly that Godbodcould stopthe dropas the Mighty U’scontinued to lose.Martin B


April 1, 1992

No thanks at all to Kevin MaxwellThere are times when our team attacks wellThere’s diminutive John DurninOn a 10p piece he’s turnin’And there’s ‘twinkle’ Trevor AylottSkill for which we didn’t pay lots!Simmo’s gone but Chrissy AllenKeeps the wing alive with talent.He’s so quick that Joey Beauchamp –Most defenders never reach him,And the skills of Jim  more ]