Our archived articles

Oxford Really is a Rather nice place

March 1, 1996

Oxford Really is a Rather Nice Place My Old Man said be an Oxford fan and I said NO!Oxford. University; students; boat race.’ tourists; places to eat.Swindon. Railways; the railway village; Magic Roundabout.We haven’t got a lot in common. Or have we? I’d say that not supporting Manchester United and actually supporting a proper team  more ]

Safe as Milk?

October 1, 1995

Safe as Milk?Football has long been a rich feeding ground for the vultures of quick profits and mass commercialism. Anything to do with the game that is marketable is packaged and repackaged and redesigned many times, and still the public snaffles up any keepsake, souvenir or piece of shoddy memorabilia which has some small relevance  more ]

ODE TO AN ANGEL

September 1, 1995

The small but gifted wingerrecalls, as he rounds his fourth defenderand leaves him prostrate behind,with the empty goal at his mercythat he is allergic to the potent mixof sweat and Old Spiceand, having shaved that morning,he fluffs his shot entirely.

ODE TO FORDY

September 1, 1995

The captain, big and strong,fearless and brave,wears his captain’s armband with pride.It is his badge of courageand symbolises his arrival as aleader of men.As a callow youth he dreamedof holding aloft the FA Cupas captain of the winning teamand now, here he is,leading his side onto the hallowed turf.Okay, so the Manor’s not quite Wembley,and  more ]

Mug’s game

April 1, 1995

MUG’S GAME I’m not superstitious of course, but it always seemed perfectly rational to make sure that I drank my tea out of my United mug on match days. Common sense told me that my beverage habits had about as much bearing on the on-field fortunes of Denis’s Yellow Army as the moon in conjunction  more ]

HALF MAGIC HALF MASSEY

October 1, 1994

Mention John Byrne’s hair or a field goal once more and I’ll retune my radio‘Shoot Budgie shoot’ Brenda Mercer would fervently moanI wish that Fox’s sports editor wasn’t covered in pock marks and who the hell is Clive WattsJon Murray’s stars bear no resemblence to a player’s performanceAnd all those people who you romantically linked  more ]

Littlemore than we expected

October 1, 1994

LITTLEMORE THAN WE EXPECTEDHaven’t we been here before?If we’re talking about new stadium locations, we’ve been practically everywhere before. What I mean is, now there’s another stadium plan, it’s a good site, the council should approve… it’s a story we’ve heard too many times before. Why believe it this time?All previous stadium schemes have generally  more ]

GARRY

September 1, 1994

So Ooh Aah Garry Smart is no morefrom the London Road we used to callyour hair was short, wavy and curlybut your body was never ever burly.Some may say ‘Thank God he’s gone’but for your passing and effort I do longYou never reached those dizzy heightsof a ball in the net that was in your  more ]

MICKEY’S GOATEE

September 1, 1994

As I stood and watched it growUnder Mad Dog’s chin it did growIt grew with such wild intenseSurely Mad Dog’s wife could make him see senseBut as he runs with it hanging thereHe really is your worst nightmare.Why should I shave you hear him cry –Try looking in a mirror we all sigh.And as he  more ]

Mikabila – out of Africa

May 1, 1994

Mikabila – Out of Africa, into…?Everyone knows about Cameroon since Italia ’90. The world youth cup was won last year by Ghana, beating England in the final. The next world cup will see three African nations represented, any or all of whom are well capable of making an impression (watch Nigeria in particular). Football is  more ]